Re: Seeing a Leader’s Role in Employee Separations
My unemployment advice is usually for people who are out of work. However, I am often contacted by managers and sometimes HR professionals, who struggle with the prospect of having to “let someone go” or as we often call it, “separating” someone from the organization.
Separating from an employee is one of the hardest things a manager or an HR professional will ever have to do. My adamant advice to any leader who is faced with this overwhelming task is to look at this as a privilege. You are in a unique position to give someone dignity and understanding at a crucial moment in their career. This is what being a leader is all about. It is one of those tasks for which it is almost impossible to prepare yet the paradox is that you almost always have to be prepared for it. Here are a few suggestions to help leaders separate from an employee while giving them dignity.
Be Prepared: Every separation conversation is different, however as a leader you want to be as prepared as possible. This not only means knowing and understanding your organization’s separation policy and process, but also knowing how to hold a separation conversation. Before holding a conversation, review any learning materials your company has on the subject or look for resources on platforms such as Mindtools or LinkedIn learning. This will allow you to approach a difficult situation with confidence and understanding.
Practice: Rehearse your conversation with your HRBP, your manager, a peer, or a friend. Ask for feedback and incorporate it. Ask someone to model a conversation for you by having them take on the role of the manager while you take on the role of the employee. Put yourself in the employee’s shoes and think about the questions they might ask. Incorporate what you learn into your real work conversation.
Be Direct But Succinct: These are not easy conversations and it is tempting to fill any silence with talking. Let the employee know you are going to give them a few minutes to absorb the news but that you also want to give them time to ask immediate questions. Do not fill the emptiness with your thoughts or opinions. Practice being comfortable with the “pause.”
Do Not Rush the Conversation: You have just told someone one of the worst things they can be told—their paycheck and benefits are going away. There is never a good time to hear that. Let them come to terms with the news. Give them time to think of and to ask questions.
Come to the Conversation with Empathy: No one enjoys separation conversations, nor should they. They are difficult and sometimes they get emotional. For all parties. There is a temptation to rip the band-aid off quickly and then to end the conversation. This is your moment to shine as a manager and support your employee. If they need to talk things out, let them. If they need time to compose themselves, give it to them. Be mindful of their privacy and their security and have the conversation in a private room.
Have a Follow-up Conversation: If the separation is not immediate, schedule a follow-up meeting. Upon hearing the news, an employee will be in shock and may not be thinking clearly. Allow them time to think of questions and concerns. If the separation is immediate, be sure to have resources available for them (who to contact in HR, benefits information, when they will receive their final paycheck, etc.). Have this written out for the employee and make sure it is sent to them in email or regular mail.
Have Paperwork Immediately Available: Your employee will need to make hard and immediate decisions and often must discuss them with a partner. Make this difficult time as simple as possible for them.
Do an Exit Interview: I personally feel exit interviews should always be done, unless the terms of the separation are extremely egregious. Exit interviews serve two purposes- they alert an organization of facts and opinions that will continue to improve their culture and they give an employee necessary closure. If possible, and appropriate, let an employee say their goodbyes. Surprisingly, this takes the awkwardness out of the situation.
Do Not Make It About You: The last thing someone who has just lost their income wants to hear is that you are uncomfortable. Of course you are uncomfortable, but this isn’t about you. Put your feelings aside for the moment and focus on how the other person is feeling. This conversation is all about them. No one said leading others would be easy.
Lead By Example: You are a representative of the organization. How you treat this conversation will stay with both you and the employee forever. It will color how they regard the organization and how they remember you. Employees talk with one another and others will know whether you have coldly shown someone the door or if you have treated them with dignity and kindness. Your actions and demeanor will be remembered.
Take Care of Yourself: Whether you are giving the news of one separation or a significant RIF, the feeling is the same. It is difficult. Make sure you have internal support in the separation process and that you handle its impact to you—be it a conversation with a friend, HR, or another support system.
Leading others is one of the hardest jobs there is and organizations do not always do the best job in preparing their managers for their roles. As difficult as separation conversations are, they are moments that will define you as a leader and moments from which you will learn. A true leader does not wait for development but looks at each situation to see what they can learn from it and how they can grow. True leaders shine when they take a negative situation and find the positive.
Re: Solve to be that type of leader.
